If I can just hold on tonight, I know that nothing survives.

I think I’m turned around, I’m looking up, not looking down.

I am Displaced.

I am unbalanced, and it feels like it’s seeping from my bones. Laramie is not my home, nor is Casper. Casper simply houses the things I love most at this time, and that would make it seem like that is where my heart is, but my heart is in far off places. In a sense, it always has been. Perhaps in the future Casper will feel like home again, as far as I can imagine there is no place on earth like Wyoming. It will always hold a special place in my heart, but my heart is far too large to be filled by one place. Right now, almost everything I am is tied to resides in Casper… and it upsets me. I have to know what else there is, and maybe in the end that will disappoint me, but that would be nothing compared to never knowing what is out there. That idea has finally been solidified within me, for once there is no doubt that leaving is exactly what I need to do. 

It wont be easy, leaving the things and people that I have wrapped myself around. It will be beyond painful, but sometimes pain makes us better. Better than the pain of settling in Casper, taking the road heavily traveled, and not pushing myself to what else there is. And end the end, if I end up back in Casper so be it. That wont kill me, but never attempting to find somewhere new would. It would kill the person I am I think.